Hello again, members of WoT! It is I, River, your local self proclaimed know-it-all gay back with some more advice for you. We’ve kept it light for the most part: gift ideas and fashion tips. This time though, we are delving into deeper waters. This time, we are going to talk about when it’s a good time to tell your significant other that you love them.
I know, I know. Real deep stuff. It’s okay, we’ll get through it together. I’m going to start with an example: myself. I’ve been with my significant other since July. So that would be around six months total. He and I have had some rough patches, mostly him being a buttface and stubborn about not wanting to be in a relationship due to extenuating circumstances that I won’t dive into right now. He didn’t realize then, and he might not realize it now, but I’m the most stubborn person he will ever meet and when I set my sights on something I want, I’m going to get it. I’ve always been the type to know what I want, and pretty quickly too. It took me about four months to realize that I had fallen for him completely. The first time I’ve ever fallen in love with another person. I’ve been in past relationships, but I never fell in love. It was such a new, inexplicable feeling. I had no prior experience with it. It was absolutely, one hundred percent terrifying.
I struggled with it at first. And it was hard being in love with someone who isn’t as outwardly affectionate as I am. It still is hard. I knew that he didn’t love me back, and that was okay. Because people don’t realize their feelings at the same rate. I’ve always been able to tell what I wanted quickly, as I’ve mentioned before. Not everyone is like that. I knew that he cared for me a lot and that was enough. I didn’t tell him, not only because I knew he didn’t feel the same way, but because I also wasn’t ready to admit it out loud. It still scared me. I stayed not ready until about a month ago. I realized that I needed him to know how I felt about him regardless if he felt the same way. So I devised a plan. I had already been working on a sketchbook for him for Christmas, filling it with his favorite television characters. I decided to use that. I wrote a long note about how I appreciated him over the past months and thanked him for being my best friend. And at the end I wrote four simple words, “I love you, dork.” And that was that. He smiled when I gave it to him. He also didn’t say it back, nor did I expect or even hope him too. All I needed was for him to know, even if it meant that I might scare him away.
I know my story isn’t perfect, isn’t hallmark worthy, but it is mine. And it has some parts that you can take notes from. According to a study I read, 50% of couples wait until after the three-month mark to say the magic words. But that doesn’t mean you should start counting down the days. Not at all. There are two questions that are most important: are you ready to say “I love you,” And is your partner ready to say it? You need to know how you are truly feeling because you don’t want to say those three words and be lying. And while it is true that no one wants to say “I love you” to someone who isn’t going to say it back, that shouldn’t hold you back from confessing your true feelings and being vulnerable to your partner. There is a lot of courage in being able to bare your true feelings to someone. I wish I had researched all of this before I had made my declaration, perhaps I wouldn’t have been as nervous...but the truth is I probably would have been. Making yourself that vulnerable is extremely frightening. But I’m here to tell you that it’s going to be okay! You can absolutely do it. I have faith in you guys. I also wish you the best of luck and I hope you have had the happiest of holidays this season.
Stay colorful my friends!
BEFORE WE GO, DON'T FORGET THAT THE SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM IS HIRING!
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